It's not a monthly anniversary, it's not a birthday, and it's not the one year mark. It's just another day. It's another day of tears and heartache. A friend described it perfectly. It's an actual physical hurt. It really actually brings pain to your body. A loss like this. A loss that takes your breath away. A loss that makes you look at your child and wonder what you'll tell him when he's old enough to understand. A loss that crosses your mind an amount of times that you can't keep count. Tears. Tears like these just seem normal now. When they stroll down your face for the billionth time in 9 months, they eventually stop stinging. They're just there. Just there sitting in your eyes, for wh

1, So, school drop off for my dude is getting a bit better. Instead of crying the entire way there, he only cries when I hand him to the teacher. We're totally getting there and we're both feeling better and better about it! Thanks for the support. 2. The other day, whilst at the mall, I did one of those kiosk massages for 15 minutes...BEST 15 minutes of my life. Seriously, a great massage that took away my headache within minutes. Not to mention, Kaleb stood there like a big boy and waited on me. I may or maynot have bribed him with jellybeans. 3. I'm gona be really bold here and use vulgar language so if you aren't into all that, move along to number 4. I'm so fucking tired of hear

1. Longest. Week. Ever. last week. I swear I'm going to have grey hair in 6 months. Kaleb had 4 REALLY really bad drop offs and gah, they wear on you as a mother. Of course when I call eleventy times a day, they always say he's doing great. And I believe them. Because most kids start behaving and acting accordingly when mommy leaves. It's just like whoa. By the time I get to work, I want to eat all the things and then take a nap. This school bizz is for the birds. 2. Just watched Monsters Inc closely for the first time and noticed the little girl has a Jessie doll and a Nemo fish in her room. I might be the only one that finds this kinda cool. 3. If you sent me these flowers yeste

This morning was a rough one for us. Even though Kaleb had a great day at school yesterday, we still had A LOT of this face this morning. We went into school the first time, caused a scene and headed right back to the car where we had a chat. I reminded him he was going to have an awesome day just like the day prior and if he was a big boy he might even earn another star sticker. His comments were a little something like this, "I can't wike my school today....Pwease don't leave me...Promise you'll come back for me...just stay with me for 2 more minutes....I need you...I don't know why I cry...." It's a little extra heart-wrenching because I know where he's coming from. Yes, a lot of kids

1. Kaleb started his little school yesterday. If you missed out on that excitement, overall it went well. For part of the day I questioned myself as to why I'm not a stay at home mom because I worried about him so much. By the evening time, I was brought back to reality and remembered very quickly why it is I send him to a full time daycare. 2. When people's soul purpose in life is to make it in my Tuesday 10, I think they're worthy of my first born. Or at least a night of drinks on me since she doesn't really "do" kids. It's all you next time, Chey. ALL you. 3. I truly believe in pen karma. If you steal a legit ass pen from someone, someone else will chew on yours and then return it. Buy y

If you're on my Instagram, and have followed for at least 8 or more months, you'll know that I use the hashtag #havefaithhopeandlove a lot. If you aren't on my instagram, I'll take a minute to explain. And if you don't know what a hashtag is, ask someone more hip than yourself. The day we had my husbands funeral, I posted a picture of his "spot" on IG with a caption about how life takes you by surprise and you should never ever take any of it for granted. I ended my post by saying #havefaithhopeandlove. At that time it just made sense to me. I thought, if I just remember to have Faith, Hope and Love, I'll be ok. So after that day, that was just my little saying. My little hashtag to