Are you ever walking through life, it's a beautiful day, birds are chirping, everything is lining up as it should, and then BAM, it feels like you fell in a hole? Life is weird like that. It can happen to anyone, under any circumstance. Big or little, significant or minor, life can suddenly send you into a hole you weren't really prepared for. Suicide is one of those things. Well, being a loved one, left behind after a suicide, is what I mean. Suicide is its own huge hole. And then it creates other smaller holes, giving you all the more opportunity to fall; to feel like you can't escape; to suffocate in your feelings. These holes are filled with all the grief stages; for me it's mostly
As you might have heard me mention, Kaleb has been asking for an "earth daddy" for some time now. The first time he asked was probably almost 2 years ago. We had been to the cemetery to refresh flowers, and as we were driving away, he started crying and said, "I don't want to just have a Heaven Daddy, I want an Earth Daddy too, like all the other kids. Is it okay to want to have 2 dads?" It broke my heart to hear him say these words. Because he was so sad, yet so concerned that he was doing something bad by wanting 2 dads. I told him when it was time, Jesus would send him/us an "Earth Dad" but we had to pray for him. There were a few nights after that, where Kaleb did ask Jesus to send h
