The Best Of: Tuesday 10
I've been posting Tuesday10 for well over a year now and I'm just a bit pumped about this one. I thought I'd take you back a little today with a combo of some of my favorite Tuesday10 posts. 1. Wednesday, I checked our mail. It was bills and such. Thursday, I checked our mail and there was a box of toilet seat covers in the mailbox. This is a true story. A travel size box of toilet seat covers on Thanksgiving Day. How am I supposed to feel about this? 2. PMS cravings get me every time. I was trying to be good by starting out with a banana. Then I moved to mixed nuts. Maybe some honey nut cheerios? Turns out, dutch chocolate ice cream was the winner. Chocolate is always the winner. The first three were a waste of time. 3. The best thing that happened to me on Saturday was going to the local taco joint for breakfast in my sweats, wearing zero makeup, sportin' serious bedhead, and getting out of there without seeing anyone I knew. #successatitsfinest 4. That awkward moment when you're on an "All Girls" weekend getaway and your mom says, "Samantha, your suitcase is vibrating...I know it's all girls but we are only away two nights...." #electrictoothbrush 5. You know that time when you're sitting at Jason's Deli and you're staring at the free icecream machine and thinking to yourself, man I can't wait to get over there....and then some 90yr old granny snatches the last cone and you feel like kicking her?
6. Dear Walmart check out girl, instead of telling my kid to sit still and stop crying, maybe you should speed up the check-out process so we can get the hell out. Thanks for the free parenting advise though, Kaleb thought your purple hair was just stellar.
7. There's a house-keeper at work who calls me Stella every morning. I haven’t corrected him because most of the time I’m not a fan of my own name and I may or may not like being called Stella. Don’t tell my mom, I devastated her ages ago when I told her I wanted to change my name. Also, don’t tell the housekeeper, I get to live a double life for like 4 seconds, 5 days a week. 8. Am I weird for going up and talking to strangers? I think I am. I’ve always seen my mom do it and it used to drive me nuts and embarrass the hell outta me, now I’m doing it. The other day at Jason’s Deli (I know, I’m there a lot. Try the chicken club salad. Ah-Mazing!) I saw this tall chick walk past me. She caught my eye b/c she was so tall and when I see a tall female, I always ask myself, “wow is that how tall I look??” (new readers…I’m a hair over 6’ and most of the time, I hate it). Once, said tall girl sits down, I see she is missing her right arm. (new readers, I too am a right arm amputee) I was kinda surprised to see such a young tall girl missing her right arm, exactly in the same spot as I. She was prob in her early EARLY 20’s. The thing that shocked me MOST when looking at her, she was rocking a bun/ponytail. How did she manage to get her hair up in a ponytail??? Ahhh!! Envy!! I keep my hair short b/c this girl isn’t cool enough to figure out how to put it up. I totally approached her. Bad part, b/c of where she was sitting, I had to come up to her from the back, she totally couldn’t see MY one-arm-ness. I immediately asked her how she got her hair like that with 1 arm. I’m SURE I sounded like a complete arse. Tall girl tells me how, with a weird look on her face. I give her props and leave. Operation “talking to strangers” and “making a similar connection” was a fail. Until we meet again, tall girl…until we meet again. P.S. I know we are destine to be new BFF’s, she ordered the SAME salad as I. We can frequent Jason’s together and blow them away with our awesome-ness. 9. I bet you anything there's a prerequisite to work the morning shift at starbucks. It includes: must be extra jolly; cannot have any record of ever suffering from depression; must be a morning person and vocabulary must include words like 'yummy' and 'scrumptious'. 10. My house is being used for a bachelorette party this weekend. I’m not hosting it, however, am really looking forward to some girl time!! The last bachelorette party I attended was my own. Really, nothing is more exciting than drinking from a penis straw. Cheers!