Hi all! Not sure about anyone else, but this week has been way too long for me! It's been brutal, so I thought we could all use a little harmless laughter on this Thursday! :)
No explination needed. Men are all the same. Every woman you talk to has some of the same complaints about their man. No matter the age. No matter the relationship. No matter the amount of years put in. Pretty sure they're all losing battles but somehow it feels better knowing you aren't the only one with these ongoing issues.
1. They never want to go to the doctor. Why do they always say, "Oh I'm fine, I don't need the doctor"? A week goes by, and they're still complaining, still whining, still wanting you to care for them. They might just be the BIGGEST babies on the planet. The world wouldn't be populated if they were expected to birth a child.
2. Why does it take so long for them to "talk to a man about a horse" or to "do paper-work" or maybe your guy calls it, "going to the library"? Whatever he calls it, I think you know what I'm talking about. Seriously though, 20 minutes to poop??? What are they doing in there?? And who has 20-30 minutes to spare? Clearly, they do. If I can push an 8lb baby out in 14 minutes, you can def do your business in far less time than that. Also, why are they allowed to have 20 minute, undisturbed, peaceful, bathroom visits? Us moms can't have 30 seconds, alone, to simply pee.
3. No matter the resturant, if it has a TV, I can promise you, my husband will sit to where he can see it. It's like, the minute we walk in, he has a radar that goes up, "must find TV, must make wife sit with her back to it, must focus on TV..." When we go out to eat, watching TV is the LAST thing I think about. It NEVER crosses my mind to locate the television in a resturant. I have yet to learn my lesson on this one, too. I always think, "how sweet, he pulled out a chair for me" and then, 10 seconds later, I lose his attention. I turn around, and low and behold, there's the effin TV, in perfect viewing. Never.Fails.
4. Men are like kids. Plain and simple. After about the first year of marriage, you def feel like you're raising a child. You're picking up their mess, you're paying their bills, you're washing their dishes, you're reminding them about THEIR mother's birthday, you're basically helping them function. What happend to their brain after they "gain" a wife?? Am I right??
5. Sex. They hint AT it. They ask ABOUT it. Then they ask FOR it. Then, they tell you they CAN'T go on without it. All in the same hour. One track mind.
6. None of them can multi-task. End of story.
7. Husband: "Babe, did you notice I did the dishes?!?"
Wife: "Yes. And?"
Husband: "Aren't you going to say, thank you?"
Wife: "Oh, Honey, you are absolutely right. I will say 'thank you' just as soon as I give birth to your last child I'm currently knocked up with, as soon as I get done folding your laundry, the minute I get done fixing dinner and just as I'm rocking the baby to sleep, you can bet your ass I'll tell say, 'thank you' for doing the dishes this one time."
Now I know we all love our guys, I wouldn't trade mine but I KNOW these are some things you, as a wife, are going through. If you can't agree to one thing on the list, you're married to a woman. ;)