On Mommy Wars – Just Stop, Damnit
Why are these still happening, ladies? And I’m not just talking about the SAHM vs the Working Mom, I’m talking about everything. Breastfeeding and formula feeding wars, cloth diapering or regular diapering wars, public school vs homeschool wars, and now, school supply wars. Yes, you read that correctly, school supply wars. I just read (and wasted my precious time on) a ridiculously long string of comments of moms going back and forth about freakin’ school supplies. Apparently, and I say apparently because my child isn’t in ‘real’ school yet, there are school districts that give you the option to pay ‘x’ amount of dollars for a pre-put-together pack of supplies for your kid, or the other option is to follow the list and buy them yourself. The current argument with this is that if you don’t get the pre-packaged supplies, your individually bought supplies might get distributed to other kids whose parents might not have been able to afford supplies. -sarcastically ::GASP:: There are actual moms arguing against this, saying that some parents are just lazy, some moms are name calling, some are taking jabs at each other…what the hell is this life we are living???
Regardless of how I feel about any of the above listed mommy wars, can I just take a minute and tell you all how absolutely ridiculous we are being??
First and foremost, if your child were to read your words, would you be embarrassed at what you said to another mom? Do we or do we not teach our children to be kind and respectful? Do we or do we not let our children call us names? No really, do you allow your child to call you anything other than mommy, mom or your first name? Is you kid allowed to tell you that your opinion is stupid, wrong or dumb? IF your child was to read your words, what kind of example have you set? And I know, some will argue that you are setting the example to stand up for yourself and to protect your opinion. Correct me if I’m wrong, but we are grown ass women, there are so many other ways to stand up for what we believe in and we are smart enough to figure out how. After all, we have learned how to out-smart our toddler every day. Surely we can accomplish another breakthrough.
Secondly, how many dads do we see doing this? Period.
Third, how are you even having time to sit there all day and follow a thread, making sure you don’t miss an opportunity to reply with something snarky? I want that kind of time in my day. Even if you are a mother to just one child, like myself, you have a helluva busy day and schedule. Most days I don’t even have time to completely empty my bladder much less have an hour to read comments about why you’ll be labeling every single one of your kids pencils with their name so they don’t have to “share.” Put down the damn phone.
And last but not least, where has our compassion gone? Why are we even fighting about these things? Let me be the one to be raw and bold here…we all have hidden battles and struggles. Hell, in today’s world, most of them aren’t even hidden; they are on display for everyone to see for one reason or another. What about the mom who has cancer? What about the mom whose child has cancer? What about the dad who was laid off from his job? What about the single parents? These are all very real life issues that people are going through and we’re worried about telling one another how awful it is on your child’s ass to use Pampers or how your kid won’t thrive if you use formula? Or we’re going to sit there and tell another mother that her child will be denied a pencil because you think she’s lazy for not buying those extra special, glittery pink pencils for her daughter? I call bullshit on that.
Remember, we’re actually in this together, kind of like a team, a very very large team We are just so much better than this, moms! Get it together. Go do the actual mom thing. Go feed your baby with your boob or a bottle. Get in the car and take your kid to school or go in the next room and start your lessons if you homeschool. Go pay the to the school for supplies or go to 5 different stores looking for pocket folders with brads. I don’t care what you do, just go do it. Go do the damn thing and stop the judging. Stop the name calling. Stop the arguing.