Peach vs Pit
Have you ever heard anyone say, “What’s your peach and pit of the day?” No? I didn't make it up, promise. I know I’ve heard it somewhere before and it really stuck with me. It’s like saying, “what was crappy about your day and what did you do to make it better?” “How did you make lemonade out of those lemons?” “What were your highs? What were your lows?” Okay, I think we get the point here. It makes sense, really. The peach is the best part. It’s the sweet part. The juicy part. The yummy part. The pit is just the hard seed that everyone dodges when eating the peach. There’s no nutritional value to the pit. It’s not juicy and doesn’t have any flavor. The more and more I live this life, the more I see it being so much like the peach and the pit. There are so many sweet times, yet there are really hard times too. This is true with everyone’s life, I know, I just feel like I see/feel it so much more being a widowed single mom. If you don’t mind, I wanted to share with you my Peach vs Pit: Widow Mom Edition, list. I started this a while ago as mood booster. I needed to be reminded that even though there seems to be a lot of pits about this life, I should always look for a peach as well. Here are a few of my big ones.
Pit: I’m the only parent Kaleb has. I’m the only one doing daily duties like feeding, dressing, bathing, reading, and bed-timing. I don’t have anyone to split those tasks with. They all fall on me and as all parents know, these tasks are tiresome.
Peach:I’m Kaleb’s only parent. Every day I get to be the one to do feeding, dressing, bathing, reading, and bed-timing. I don’t have to split that up with anyone, therefore I don’t miss all the witty and funny things he has to say. I can lie down at night and know I didn’t miss any special moments with my son. I was there for it all.
Pit: I’m the only one taking him to school and picking him up every day. I don’t ever have a day that I don’t have those responsibilities. I can only drop him off so early and can only pick him up so late. If I have errands or need to be at work during odd hours, I have to factor that in.
Peach: I get to be the one who takes him to school every morning and I get to pick him up every day. When I carry him to the car in the mornings, he always wraps his arms around me and lays his head on my shoulder, pretending to still be asleep. I’m the one receiving that hug every morning. When I pick him up after school, I get to be the one who hears about his day. And almost immediately, he asks about my day.
Pit: We don’t have anyone to go home to. We don’t have a reason for a big meal at dinner. I can’t work up the desire to cook a full meal for me and a kid who’d rather eat cereal.
Peach:We don’t have to go home for anyone. We don’t have to check in with anyone. We don’t have anyone else expecting a full blown meal. We don’t have anyone complaining that some nights we just ate cereal. We have just us and we are the easiest going family I’ve ever seen. Sometimes we walk around the mall after work/school, sometimes we go to the water park, and sometimes we drive around just singing to the radio because you know what? We can. We make our own schedule that works for us.
Pit: I’m a widowed mom, not a divorced mom. I don’t get to trade weekends and holidays with anyone. When there’s a doctor appointment, I’m the one taking off work to go. When he’s sick, I’m the one who stays at home with him.
Peach:I’m a widowed mom, not a divorced mom. I don’t have to trade weekends with anyone and worry about who gets Kaleb when there’s a 5th weekend in a month. I don’t have to share holidays with anyone. When he’s sick, I get to be the one who holds him and really, who doesn’t mind a day off here and there?
Pit: I’m a single 31 year old female who would like to go on a date but referring back to my previous pit, I don’t have a lot of time. I know I can get a babysitter, and I have, but I don’t want to always do that to Kaleb. I don’t want to be a Monday-Friday mom. The weekends are for Kaleb to have fun as well and I don’t think it’s fair for him to be at home with a sitter while mommy’s out being “wined and dined” by some dude from the internet. {Okay this is where we laugh because it was never that glamorous}
Peach:I’m a MOM. I’ve been given the gift of a lifetime. There are so many women in this world whose only wish in life is to be a mother. If I never go on a terrible internet date again, I’ve already got the man of my dreams at home, wearing Toy Story underwear. That’s all I need.
It’s not fair for me to sit here acting like just because I’m a widowed mom, I have all these extra pits that no other parents have. We all have pits. Parenthood brings many many pits but it’s all in the way we look at it. The attitude we take with it. I’ll be the first to admit I’m guilty to only thinking about the pits a lot of times, which is why I made my list, and it helps. It helps me get through the hardest yet most rewarding job I’ve ever been given.
At the end of the day, we’d never appreciate our peaches without our pits.
