1. One of the most moving things at my grandpa's funeral was seeing 8 of the most handsome grandsons as pallbearers. One of the most least moving things at my grandpa's funeral was having to tell someone to put their phone away because it's disrespectful to take photos at a burial. #areyoukiddingme 2. Why do the little drink stopper things from Starbucks suddenly become the greatest piece of plastic you've ever chewed on?
3. I'm very pleased with you, old navy. You have exceeded my expectations in the boys section.
4. So, Kaleb and I were in the local grocer when he escaped me and ran towards the parking lot. Now, all you moms know, those little turkeys we call children, get away from us in a flash. Homeboy was 2 steps away from running into the parking lot when I yelled STOP. He stopped, I grabbed his hand and we safely made our way to the car. We might have made it safe to the car but not before another mom flashes me the, "I CANT believe you just let your child run into the street, you shouldn't be allowed to be a mother", look.
Why as women and fellow mothers do we do this? Why do we judge other females like it's our fucking job? I mean, men don't do this. None of us are perfect moms and NONE of us should be judging or disapproving anything. As far as I know, this was my first "look" and it sucked. That bitch taught me a lesson.
5. Nothing makes you wanna cry like waking up in severe pain due to sleeping on a bent ear. You sleep on that sucker longer than 90 minutes, you're screwed.
6. You know how back in the day when you went for an "updo", the stylist told you to come with dirty hair? Well, now they tell you to come with clean hair. What I wanna know, when did this change and what nasty female took them literal, came with 3-day-old dirty hair and ruined it for everyone?
7. Basically it boils down to me being sick of inconsistent weird people. At least with Kaleb, I know what I'm getting.
8. Mattress shopping is probably THE most awkward shopping there is. I mean, the sales guy is watching you lay down, watching you feel the firmness and watching you try out every possible sleep position there is. Maybe I'm the weird one rolling around on a strange bed but damn, I'm a little freaked out by you, mattress sales guy.
9. Rumor has it, multiple boys are reading my blog an stuff. #hehehe
10. Turns out I CAN write a decent Tuesday 10 sitting at the bar in Chilis. Relax, I'm not sipping adult drinks at 8am, Tuesday morning, I prepare this awesomeness on Mondays at 8am. Just kidding. Maybe.