Tuesday 10 and my time at the social security office
This is a true story. I'm writing my Tuesday 10 from inside the social security office, on a Monday. You guys, this place ain't no joke. I'll have 10 things for you in 30 minutes flat. Ready. Set. Go.
1. First and foremost, pack a cooler and snacks. Your ass is gonna be here a WHILE. Trust me, don't go empty handed. You might even consider taking an arts and craft with you. And if your not the crafty type, take multiple electronic devises with you. I am FOR REAL.
2. The people watching is phenomenal. Six flags ain't got nothin on this place.
3. Why are the chairs facing the door? When you walk in the joint, everyone and their child, look up at you and stare. When I walked in, I felt like it was one of those awful naked dreams where everyone in the classroom is pointing at you and laughing, but not to worry, the minute you find a chair, you become one of them and stare at the very next person who walks through the door. It's a social security office requirement.
4. You know there's gonna be issues when there are more parking spots reserved for employees than "customers".
5. You think sitting next to a stranger on an airplane is uncomfortable...it's called, put a little space in between these chairs. We live in America. We have the space. Infact, I'm a little scared that homeboy sitting to my right is watching me as I type every word of this post. My only hope is, I just gained a new blog follower. #bloggerwishes
6. Oddly enough, this place is so much like Walmart. They have 6 windows and only have 2 open. Oh, and, there are children running around without shoes.
7. Their hours are from 9 to 3. Get there at 7a.m. and you'll be lucky to be 12th in line. Lucky.
8. There's no way of knowing how many people are ahead of you. They have a "take a ticket" kinda thing goin on but then they start saying shit like, "A257, P825, appointment for Mrs. Smith, F990, sorry for the wait, S38..." and then, you're all, "my ticket number doesn't have a letter in front of it, and damnit, I didn't know I could have made an appointment." and then you feel like giving up but DON'T. Don't give in. Just yell out BINGO and make everyone's day a little better.
9. They have public restrooms but don't be fooled. If you get up to go potty, one of two things will happen, you'll either loose your seat to the adorable 89yr old who you feel sorry for because shes wearing stockings with her sandals (although don't let her trick you, she will literally cut you for your seat, no doubt) or they'll call your number unexpectedly and you'll miss your turn. Resist going pee. You're a grown ass woman, you can do this.
10. Depending on what you're in for, these folks will interrogate you to the point you aren't even sure you're telling them your real name, much less trying to remember whether or not you are a felon. Have things written down and laminated before you walk through the door. All these shenanagins I just told you about will make you be unsure of who you really are. Let this be a lesson to all, avoid the social security office if you can.
Oh and, happy Tuesday.