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Tuesday 10

1. You guys? We are screwed. Life as we know it, is over. Kaleb is crawling out of his crib. Homeboy showed up in our bedroom Monday morning saying, "Momma nigh night?" Scared the shit out of me. Then for his nap, I shut his door completely and then heard him knocking. Last night? He got up twice and entered the master bedroom, unannounced. Okay moms, what should I do? Toddler bed? Are we even ready for that? What are the proper policies on shutting their door completely at night? Ugh. I'm so not pumped about this. Why does my kid have to have climbing capabilities? 2. I constantly smell poop. Everywhere I go in our house, I constantly smell poop. I feel like my nose is set on a poop dial. Is this part of being a boymom? All the gas passing and actual poop going on, is this something I should just get used to? 3. Speaking of poop? Our life still revolves around it and I have no idea how long it will take to get over that. Remember when Kaleb didn't poop on his own for about the first 7 months of his life? Well, we are past that now but conversations between myself, the husband, the grandmas and the babysitter all still revolve around poop. Did he poop? How was it? Soft? Hard? Did he poop yesterday? I think we were all so used to talking about it on the reg, it's habit for us. Plus, we were all so worried about his condition back then, I guess we feel like it's still something we need to stay on top of. I'm pretty sure when Kaleb gets older he'll not want all of us to still be on top of this issue. My response? It's not Mommy's fault you didn't poop and scared the shit out of us. #nopunintended 4. Heads up: 7:50 a.m. is NOT the time to question the Starbucks employees about the difference in a latte and an espresso. There are working folks in line who are serious about their coffee fix and needing to get to work on time. Come back at 8:30 a.m. with your fancy coffee questions. K? Thanks. 5. I can't describe to you how much I despise Saturday morning cartoons. Shows like Sponge Bob and Fairly Odd Parents make me want to punch the person who created it and the folks who are doing the voices. OMG I know I have a long way to go before Charles Kaleb isn't interested in crap like this. 6. Nothing runs like a deere. Nothing runs like a deere. Nothing runs like a deere. Nothing runs like a deere...repeat phrase 57 times at 5 a.m. and you'll live the same experience I had not too long ago. Kaleb took his John Deere, battery operated, gator thing that talks, into the bath. What happens when those type toys get wet? The voice gets triggered on its own and starts tormenting you at the wee hours of the morning. It's awesome, I promise. 7. That moment you realize your life is dull because you're sad you've already watched all the DVR recordings and the bachelor doesn't come on until Monday. 8. Trying to decide what to do for my 30th. Granted, it's not until June BUT I wanna to plan ahead so everyone can be sure to get a babysitter. The question is, all girls night or include the boys? Dilemmas. Dilemmas. 9. I haven't given up anything for lent. What kind of Catholic does it make me? The slacker kind. 10. I don't have any Bachelor reviews because I didn't watch it. It's still sitting on my DVR. I was busy dealing with a 20-month old who climbs out of his crib. And seeing as how I wrote #7, I'm very sad and disappointed today. I'm still team Des even though I bet she gets the boot. #1stworldproblems

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