...and then I was like, that's the weirdest thing ever

I'm a sleeper. I love naps and I love sleep. I never had a hard time sleeping during my pregnancy, I was successfully getting approximately 8 hours of sleep during the entire 9 months. I'm. A. Sleeper. It was the weirdest thing ever when I couldn't sleep Tuesday night/Wednesday morning. I was so super sleepy and had not had any late night caffeine. I should have been in my ugly sleep cycle. You know the one. Hair is all jacked up, pillows and blankets are in disarray and there's drool. Don't lie. You know there's drool. So none of that was happening and it was 12:30 a.m. I was quickly loosing precious minutes of sleep. I was wide awake, listening to the husband snore and I was getting pretty pissed. I promptly moved to the couch and found myself watching Sex and the City, thinking, "this is the weirdest thing ever, I never can't sleep." I was making my way through the day with gobs of coffee. And random work shenangins. I was going to survive, thankfully. Remember my gawd-awful back pain I had in November? Well, as I was making my way through the day, I received a call from a social worker asking if my back pain was a result of domestic violence or abuse in the work place. Say what? I.....don't think so? Had I been abused? Well not that I remember. Is that something I would ever tolerate? No. Am I being forced to strain myself at work? Can you define strain....just kidding, no. Ma'am this is not a joking matter, are you being abused? No, no sir I am not. Okay then, we hope you have a great day. O-H....Okaaaayyyyy, thanks...thanks for checking on me, have a good day yourself. Click. And then I told my co-worker, that was the weirdest thing ever. Salad & pizza sounded mighty fine for supper. After all, it was a pretty weird day and how normal is pizza and salad? Pretty normal. It's pretty normal until you're trying to pull out of the grocery store parking lot and see a homeless guy and his dog, talking to a young-ish female who is also trying to pull out of the parking lot. Did she just give him a box of Ritz crackers? Yes, yes she did. He's pretty happy about those crackers. Aww that was sweet. Maybe I should give him some cash so he can get some cheese. Wonderful, I actually have a $5 bill. Miracle! But wait, the homeless man and young lady are still chatting. We are sitting at a 4-way stop, traffic is building at 5 p.m. and homeless man and lady are now laughing. Laughing? Why are they laughing? Should I be laughing? No. I should be on the freeway by now, getting this pizza in my oven. I put the $5 back in my purse, clearly he was set with just the crackers and a few laughs. Young girl gets OUT of her truck and is now hugging homeless man. She points to the back of her truck and the dog starts jumping up and down. Homeless guy hoists up the dog, throws him in the back of the truck, along with his backpack and crackers, and then loads himself up in the bed of the truck. Young lady, homeless guy and dog, all drive away with a giant smile and I thought, now that was the weirdest thing ever. The pizza and salad clearly hit the spot. I was too tired to speak during dinner. I didn't get my full 7 hrs the night before, remember? Silence at the dinner table. The husband is eating, I'm staring into space and Kaleb was using the ranch dressing as gel in his hair, because clearly that's what you do. We were all pretty spent. It's late. Like, late enough for it to be dark out. We hear a lawn mower. Who is mowing at this hour? It sounds really close to us. We take a look out the window and there's our new neighbor, mowing his grass. Let me give you an update on said new neighbor. Remember a while back I told you we were cleaning out my Grandmother's home b/c she was in the nursing home? Well, long story short, we cleaned it out and the house was empty. (my grandmother's house is RIGHT across from us, like RIGHT there) All that said, we use her garage to store the boat, lawn mower and such items. A couple weeks ago, my dad informed us that someone was going to be moving in there for the time being. A renter if you will. Mr. Renter said he didn't have much to move in and he didn't mind us keeping our stuff in the garage. Sweet guy. So in the dark of the night, our new neighbor is mowing his grass. I told my husband, that's kinda weird because 1, it's late and 2, I thought he didn't bring anything with him. Charles says, he didn't, "that's our riding mower and our weed eater that he's using...." As we continue to stare out the window, I say, "huh, I didn't know he came over asked if he could borrow it..." Charles said, "He didn't." and then just walked off like it was no big deal. I stood there a while in disbelief. He was mowing the grass with our mower and never even asked. Huh. That's like, the weirdest thing ever. After bath time, Kaleb sat on the potty chair and said, "Listen, TeeTee!" I listened and nothing happened. He quickly stood up, ran into my closet, shut the door and peed. Then he popped out and said, "TeeTee!" Yes son, you are correct, you just TeeTeed on the floor 1.5 seconds AFTER you were sitting on the potty chair. Mommy's weird and strange radar broke a few hours ago. This is the most normal thing ever. All this weirdness in one day really makes one think. I wonder how many other people got the "domestic violence" call that day? I wonder how many of them were able to admit to the social worker that yes, it was in fact, a result of violence. While it was weird that they randomly called me, it's a sad situation. I wonder where the homeless guy and his dog ended up? Did he know that young lady? Was the young lady just feeling generous? Did he and the dog eat the Ritz crackers? Why was our neighbor mowing with our mower? Why did Charles not see anything weird about it? Would it be too much if I asked him to mow our lawn? Does he want to use our boat as well? Why does Kaleb prefer to pee and poop on the floor? Did I screw up somewhere? Is he just living the life of random toddler-ness? Despite these weird Wednesday happenings, I slept all night. Today is off to a pretty normal start. I know you're relieved.

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