As you might have heard me mention, Kaleb has been asking for an "earth daddy" for some time now. The first time he asked was probably almost 2 years ago. We had been to the cemetery to refresh flowers, and as we were driving away, he started crying and said, "I don't want to just have a Heaven Daddy, I want an Earth Daddy too, like all the other kids. Is it okay to want to have 2 dads?"
It broke my heart to hear him say these words. Because he was so sad, yet so concerned that he was doing something bad by wanting 2 dads.
I told him when it was time, Jesus would send him/us an "Earth Dad" but we had to pray for him.
There were a few nights after that, where Kaleb did ask Jesus to send him a dad but after a while, he kinda dropped the subject. So I let it be.
During the past 2 years though, Kaleb never made the connection that by him getting a new "earth dad", that would mean I'd have an "earth husband" as well.
My sweet boy LOVES him some mommy.
So much that he swears up and down, he's going to marry me. I had tried telling him we actually couldn't get married and it just broke his little heart. I couldn't bare to see him so upset over not being able to marry his mama, so I too, left that alone. I figured in time, he'd understand how the whole husband/dad thing worked; that they are a package deal.
Fast forward to these last couple days where my dude's light bulb went off and he understands the concept -
We were in the car driving home one night, and out of the blue he says, "Mom I'm ready for you to get married. I'm ready for you to find a husband to marry so I can wear those fancy black clothes and look really handsome."
I was so floored. I couldn't believe his words. I asked him if he understood that by me getting married, that meant there would be a man living with us and that he would also be his earth dad. He confirmed that he understood. I also asked if he knew that meant that HE AND I could never get married. He said he also understood that he could never marry me because I would be way too old for him. ::stabs to the mama heart::
Any who, we carried on with the conversation for a while. Things like, where do I find a husband, why is it taking me so long, how did I find my first husband and why can't I just do that same thing again. It was probably the most interesting conversation I've had with my child, thus far. And y'all know he comes up with some crazy stuff.
Basically I reinforced the fact we just have to pray for Jesus to send him when the time is ready. (Cause mama aint doin anymore internet dates)
He's been praying consistently this week. And it's just the sweetest thing.
Tonight, his prayer was far more in depth and I want to have it documented and be able to remember it forever. It went like this:
"Dear Jesus, thank you for this day; thank you for giving me Mama, Walter and Molly. However, I would really like if you sent me a dad. Please make him be nice to me and mama, please let him be handsome for mama, please let him have 2 arms, please let him have enough money to buy us a camper, and please make sure he knows how to fold paper airplanes. Where ever he is right now, please bless him. And if he doesn't know you yet,(meaning Jesus) please make him know you, or we can teach him about you. Please help him find our house. And if he comes with kids, that's fine. I'll take a sister or brother. Either is fine. Amen."
Have mercy on my baby's soul. He is the actual sweetest boy I know. I'm so thankful I heard that little prayer and I'm so blessed God picked me to be his mom.
I know we'll be blessed with a wonderful Earth husband and dad one day. I wish I could tell Kaleb WHEN or HOW, but I can't. It's God's perfect timing. And God's timing is something we ALL must learn to trust. Even if we are just 6.5 years old.
"But truly God has listened; He has attended to the voice of my prayer." Psalm 66:19