I feel like sometimes I get the most un-thought out questions about having 1 arm, ever. I often want to reply with, "did you even think before you asked that, because I'm pretty sure you didn't." Seriously though, stop asking me if I can drive with 1 arm. Think about how many times you've actually had both hands on the wheel. Probably only 25% of the time, of course I can drive. And put on mascara. *Gasp*
However, there are things I can't do. Correction, there are things that are challenging about having 1 arm and you've probably never thought about most of them. Here's your list so you can stop asking me if I can drive. Or how I wash my hand. Or how I birthed my child.
1. Obviously, I cannot clap. This is probably my number one frustration. It makes me sad. And no, it doesn't help to offer your hand to clap with mine because that not only looks dumb, but feels awkward. So don't do that. And don't look at me sad when I clap on my leg.
2. The second thing that brings me the most sadness is that I can't fold my hands to pray. VERY very frustrating. I feel like I'm missing one of the main parts of prayer. And again. It isn't the same for me to pray with your hand. So please don't do that either.
3. I cannot put my hair in a pony tail which is why my hair will probably always be short. Unless Kaleb learns how to do it, in which my world will change forever.
4. You know how when selecting items on the computer, you must hold down shift and click your mouse? Yeah....that's fun for me.
5. I must clasp my bra prior to putting it on, so that means it goes over my head. My bra's get stretched out and ruined faster than yours. And it sucks.
6. I can't clip my finger nails. Hello manicures for the rest of my life.
7. The water faucets in the airport which require you to hold down the button and wash 1 hand at a time, can kiss my ass.
8. Something that brought me to tears was Kaleb's car seat carrier. In order to operate the carrier handle, you must push both of those buttons at the same time if you want the handle to move. During my maternity leave, I once sat on the floor for an hour crying because I couldn't operate my child's seat, therefore couldn't leave the house. It was a sad sad day. I'm glad we're over that roadblock.
9. I actually can operate an umbrella but don't expect me to be happy about it. I'd rather get wet than stand there and try to open my car door while holding the damn thing. And I swear on every umbrella's life, I always end up with a defective one that doesn't want to close properly. So I end up wet anyways. And pissed.
10. And because this is a number one question asked, I use my teeth to help me tie my shoes. If you want to know how that works, ask me. But chances are, I won't show you because I normally never wear shoes that tie, and if I am, I'm not about to untie them for you.
I know I sound bitter here, I'm really not. And that's not written in sarcasam font. I'm a good sport about it, really. I just thought it would make a good Tuesday 10 and seriously, stop asking me how I possibly gave birth with 1 arm. Last I checked, no woman has ever used her arms to birth humans.