This'll be a short blog post for whoever reads it. Let's not get our panties in a bunch here because it's not life vs death, but for me, it's important. Yes, I'm okay, yes Kaleb is okay but we still need prayers.
Specifically, with me, there are several things going on. Some things not a single soul knows about, some things I just can't talk about on here. I need a change in my life. Personally, emotionally, and career. I'm in desperate need of direction and clarity. I need some peace with my heart. I need to feel like I can sit still and all will be okay. I'm back to crying daily. I'm back to feeling overwhelmed.
Kaleb needs prayers because he can feel the tension from me. I think he knows his momma feels like she's about to break. He's also a night terror. He's not going to sleep until midnight, having bad dreams, sleep walking/talking, being very mad in his sleep, hitting and such. We aren't sleeping like we should, and that's contributing to my breaking point. He's fighting ear infections and will probably needs tubes, again. I feel like he's always sick.
You know how you just come to that point where you feel like it's always something? I've been there for what seems like an eternity and I don't know how to come up from it. I have help with Kaleb. I take lots of naps on the weekends. I do fun things with my girlfriends. I pray hard. I still laugh hard. But it's all still there. And really, looking at it from a distance, I don't have it any harder than anyone else I know, hell, I have it easier than some because I only have 1 kid but nonetheless, I can't seem to grab it.
As I've said a million times, I'm not afraid to ask for prayers so, take your pick. And please, if there's ever anything I can pray for you, please let me know. Sometimes it's easier to pray for others than for ourselves.
I heart y'all.