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Why

March 5, 2014

This morning was a rough one for us.  Even though Kaleb had a great day at school yesterday, we still had A LOT of this face this morning.

 

 

We went into school the first time, caused a scene and headed right back to the car where we had a chat.  I reminded him he was going to have an awesome day just like the day prior and if he was a big boy he might even earn another star sticker.  His comments were a little something like this, "I can't wike my school today....Pwease don't leave me...Promise you'll come back for me...just stay with me for 2 more minutes....I need you...I don't know why I cry...."

 

It's a little extra heart-wrenching because I know where he's coming from.  Yes, a lot of kids his age do this.  I know that.  But his is extra because of daddy. Oh that daddy. He was here one day and gone the next.  And when you hear your kid say on a weekly basis, "I just need to fly dat airpwane to go see daddy", you know this is something that weighs on him.

 

Anyway, my point of this quick post is why I do what I do.  I guess I don't owe anyone an explanation but I want to just put it out there.

 

The big question...why am I making our life so public?  Why am I talking about our bad days.  Why am I sharing photos of my son crying? 

 

Because I'm not afraid to reach out. 

 

This morning, on the FB fan page, I shared the above photo with a brief description of what went down this crazy morning.  Indeed it was crazy and heartbreaking for us both. I knew he needed prayers and I needed prayers.  I was sitting at my desk crying like a baby.  Crying because I feel like Kaleb got the raw end of the deal.  Crying because life isn't fair for him.  Crying because I can't fix it, for either of us.  However, I did know, that by sharing that pitiful face, there would be at least a handful of people who would whisper a prayer for us.  They would whisper a prayer for us in a time that I couldn't find the words.  In a time we needed it the most.  And guess what?  I was right.  Within an hour I had countless folks saying they were praying and several even reached out with texts/phone calls, offering help. 

 

Am I selfish for using my kids face for prayers?  I don't see it that way, some might.  It's your own opinion.  I simply see it as a moment that I'm not ashamed to ask for help.  I'm not afraid to show you guys our life isn't roses and all pinterest-like. 

 

{Today is so far from pinterest..I mean if you look closely, Kaleb's john deere green shirt totes clashes with his teal hoodie. AND he's wearing sweatpants. Cringe.}

 

I see it as a way that maybe, just maybe I can help someone else one day.  Maybe someone needs to see our struggles and know they aren't alone. 

 

Why? Because it's real life and I'm not afraid.

 

 

 

 

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