I Have a Dance Partner for Life

....and when my son grabbed my hand and said, "mommy, let's dance in the living room", my heart melted and a million thoughts went through my head. There I was, sitting on the couch, pretending to watch the CMA's and getting carried away in my own thoughts. You see, my grandpa passed away today and while it was expected, it's never easy to lose a loved one. From the time I found out today, all I could think about was, "how is it that all 4 of my grandparents are in heaven....along with my husband." It's selfish, I know. I just couldn't get that thought out of my head. "How did this happen? How will I have survived three major funerals this year? My God, I'm ready for 2014." And there Kaleb was, playing with his cars and monster trucks like most boys do. The obsession this kid has with transportation items is just unreal. It's like at 2.5, he already knows all the transportation, all the sounds they make, what they do, how they'll get there, and what size tires they all need. Unreal I tell you. So, there he was playing and there I was just lost in thought. The next thing I know, Blake Shelton is on the CMA's and my son is literally coming up to me, his hand reached out and he's asking me to dance. I was brought back to the here and now, really quickly. What's your only option when your son asks you to dance? You fucking dance. There's just no question and you shouldn't want there to be. I got up, picked him up and we started dancing. He put his arm around my neck and laid his head on my shoulder. Y'all. We two-stepped in the living room and experienced the most precious moment. All my thoughts disappeared. My thoughts about how too many people I love are in heaven, about how I haven't folded laundry in four weeks, about how I dread shower time simply because he hates pajamas or ultimately, about how I wonder if I'm getting depressed and unable to hold myself together for much longer. All these thoughts went away because my baby, my two-yr-old was taking my hand to dance. As he laid his head on my shoulder, I thought, my God I have the greatest gift, right here, right now. I have a son that loves me. He loves me despite wrinkled laundry, he loves me despite cereal suppers, he loves me despite all imperfections. He sees the simple pleasures in life, like dancing. Immediately I thought of my husband. Did he give Kaleb a little whisper and say, go dance with mommy? Did he know I needed a distraction? Did he know I needed that little head on my shoulder? I think so. When I was pregnant, I wanted a little girl more than anything. Of course when Kaleb got here, I couldn't imagine anyone else, but then it hit me again tonight. God gave me a little boy so I could have a dance partner for life. He's in the details, y'all. He's always in the details.

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