As most of you know, I recently turned 30. The bestie planned this fantastic getaway for us. She had all kinds of sensational things up her sleeve that weekend and soon I'll do a separate post on that because it def deserves it's own attention. We came back home on Sunday, June 16th from one of the best weekends I had had in a long time. It was the kinda girlfriend time to be jealous of, it really was. When it came to a close on that Sunday, I realized how unbelievably blessed I was to have girlfriends that love me so.
Those memories we made, were quickly put to the back burner as Charles died the very next day. Monday, June 17, I became a widow just 4 days after I turned 30.
Within minutes, minutes of finding out my husband had passed away, my DM showed up. At the time, I didn't know how she managed to be there within minutes but it didn't matter. She was there and she was my first angel sent. If you don't believe in angels or blessings from God, just stop reading now. God absolutely works overtime when we need angles. You'll never change my mind about that.
DM used her angel tools, in the form of her iPhone, to call my other angels. It was a pretty hi-tech moment, peeps.
I have very little memory of making it through the next few hours. I know there were a lot of phone calls, a lot of texts, a lot of crying, but more importantly, there was cheese and crackers for snack. The truth comes out. I was actually able to snack during this time. Hey, gimme some slack, I hadn't eaten yet that day and it was already like 1p.m. #fatgirltruths
At the same time, that time stood still, everything was moving very quickly. Denise drove me to the funeral home. I have no idea how long we were there, I just know she sat patiently, acting as my personal secretary.
Once we were done with all that biz, she of course drove me home, and as a pleasant surprise, many more of my angels were there waiting for me. There they were. No questions asked. Some of them drove in from out of town and everyone else simply left their work day to come see me. Everyone dropped what they were doing that day to come see me.
I can't remember if I greeted everyone properly and I surely know I didn't let them know at that very moment how much I appreciated them being there but it was exactly what my heart needed.
By 8ish-o'clock (???), there were about 7 of my greatest friends, sitting around the table with me. I remember looking up at all of them and thinking, this is one of the most blessed moments. No one had an agenda, no one cared that I was just sitting there in a daze, no one was watching the clock, we just sat there. There were hard moments, (writing the obituary), there were funny moments (VJ trying to use industrial size scissors), there were productive moments, (PK looking for Bible verses) and then there were just silent moments when I was trying to wrap my mind around everything. At that moment, I knew God was there, blessing me.
The blessings continued all through the night when PK slept in the same bed with me. The blessings continued when she held my hand at 2 a.m. because I was crying uncontrollably. The blessings continued when she was still holding my hand at 5 a.m. It was supposed to be the worst night of my life but instead it was the most blessed.
Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday were no different. These folks were cleaning my house (and when I say cleaning, I mean they were like merry maids on steroids. Two out of three of them are O.C.D. and the other one has four kids, so yeah, they owned that whole cleaning thing. Others were doing much needed repairs and maintenance, some sweet someone even organized my hot mess I call the pantry. The entire thing should have been filmed because we could have totally made a show on the TLC network about an entire house being taken over by every day angels. We/they woulda made millions. Millions I tell you.
Lots and lots of other angels showed up during the week bringing food and such. I was never alone. Friends and family came over for dinner every night. It was the kind of fellowship I needed at that time.
I never had to sleep alone. My PK came to my rescue every night. Every night we talked about something different. Every night we talked about how different that day was than the one before. One night we even surfed pinterest together and discussed "the people of walmart" shenanagins. I was able to laugh and it felt good.
The services were Thursday and Friday and I was shown at every moment how loved Charles and I are. Charles' very best men sat behind me on Thursday and I could feel the love pouring from their hearts. Everyone was holding me up when I wasn't able to hold myself and I felt every bit of that.
I've had three weeks now to reflect on this time in my life (which feels like a freakin eternity) and even though it may sound silly or unbelievable, that week was absolutely the most blessed I have ever felt. I had originally typed out that it was the "best" week, but that's not the right wording. It was the most blessed week and I'll never forget it. Of course it will always be a devastating time for me but while I think about the sad moments, my mind can't help but go to all the blessed moments I had as well.
I know that even though God had picked me to endure some of the greatest pain, He also sent some of the very best people to make sure I wasn't walking it alone.
As I finish this post with many loving tears in my eyes, I want to thank each and every one of you for being there. You know who you are and you all mean the world to me. I'll never ever be able to repay you for what you did for me, how you made me feel, and how you helped me survive. Each of you gave me enough love to make it through the rest of my life and for that I'm forever grateful.