1. How many of you got totally sick of me last week? I was home sick a couple days and I became a posting whore. I was all over IG, FB, Pinterest and here. I tell ya, one day at home without my kid, it was like heaven disguised as the flu. I felt a little guilty but mostly realized I need to do this for myself once a month. Stay at home from work just because. It's life changing.
2. I'm afraid to say, next Christmas when Frosty comes on t.v., I wont get that warm fuzzy feeling you get from not having not seen it in a year because I'll have watched it all year long. Kaleb knows exactly how to find it on the DVR and we are still watching it nearly every day.
3. I like Easter Candy. Maybe even love it. I like it better than all the other holiday candies. Know why? Because it's packaged in pastel colors. I like pastels. Like a little girl. I also hate the color red so that pretty much kills any chance Christmas or Valentine candy ever had. #prominieggs
4. You pull up in the driveway and it never fails, you have 63 things to carry into the house. Backpacks, purse, sippy cups, kid(s), dry cleaning, lunch boxes, groceries, dinner, jackets, ect and just as you strategically gather everything together, so you only have to make one trip, you realize you gotta pee. Which needing to pee would be okay if the toddler would hurry his ass up. So there you are, abiding by his wishes of, "no mommy, I do it, I big", doing the tee-tee dance in your driveway, holding eleventy hundred things in one hand, folks passing by, and all you can think about is how ironic this situation is. The reason you have zero bladder control is right in front of you, taking his sweet ass time getting out of the car, saying, "mommy, why you dance wike dat?"
5. The Planes movie is confusing. I don't like it and I'm tired of all forms of transportation with faces on the front of them.
6. City of Angels is probably one of my most favorite movies. That said, I guess I hadn't watched it since Charles died....big mistake. HUGE. By the end of the movie, I was crying so much, Kaleb thought I had hurt myself or that he was in trouble. Not the ideal movie for a widow.
7. Do you ever wonder if you would recognize your FaceBook friends kids if you saw them out in public? We have all gotten to a point where we post SO many photos of our kids (I'm way guilty) that we can probably point them out in a group of 30. Even if you've never met us personally, I betcha you could see Kaleb in a crowd, even without me, and say, huh, I think that's Kman.
I once saw a friends child with a woman that I knew was not his mother and wrote down date/time/license numbers just incase he was reported missing. Not a lie.
8. I know I'm not telling you anything new but mother effer, do ALL the toys have to make noise?! Shit man. I was trying to talk on the phone and Kaleb was over there with his guitar so I told him to pick a different toy, he went and got a keyboard. I told him to try again, he went and got his airplane toy, that actually flies. His 4th and 5th options were a battery operated drill and lastly, his Woody doll, which has a pull string. I'm about to lose my mind with all these battery operated devices. I want the days of cabbage patch back.
9. When I noticed my kid started knowing the words to Nelly and 50ct, I thought it might be time to start playing some toddler songs. As I was losing my mind to this new "30 songs for toddlers CD, I really listened to the lyrics of these songs and in Row-Row Your Boat, it says something about riping your pants, throwing your partner over board and watch them scream. Now, you tell me, how is this is any better than what my boy Nelly sings about?
-judgemental moms, of course I'm kidding, get your panties out of the wad you created.
10. You know I have a few things to say about the Bachelor last night.
First, you can't be a "dog lover" as your profession. Secondly, Victoria?! I know she made her self look like a fool but OMG, she made my night!! I love how she said she wasn't hammered but clearly the humpin' in the pool indicated differently. Also, she had the best quote in Bachelor history, "I want my Juan on Juan time!" Lastly, nothing about posing naked with dogs makes me want to adopt a dog! I mean, are we serious here? Dogs are cute and they can make themselves look sad enough to adopt them on their own. They don't need to be all up on bare naked ladies for me to say, "oh look at that cute adoptable dog. ::rant over::
-btw, bachelor watching parties are def happening at my house, complete with a dry erase board to keep these hoes straight.