It took 19 years, but here I am THE FINAL
It's true. In the past 19 years, I've had my moments. Moments where I had a pity party. Moments of poor me. Moments where I gave up because I believed I couldn't do it or didn't want to try. Moments when all I could do was think about that horrific day and wonder why it was me. All of those moments are over. They are all in the past. A few weeks back, when I decided to start writing this, I had no intentions. I had no idea what made me start writing this or why. One afternoon, I just started typing. It took me farther than I ever imagined. I had no idea what it would unleash. When it was getting close to the time to start writing "the final" post, I had ideas in my head. A lot of ideas of how I should write it. It should be awesome. It should be a real tear jerker. It should have extreme highs and lows, with my brutal honesty about how so many things I went through caused SO much insecurity and SO many tears throughout the years, something that could be considered the grand finale. Something inside me changed this week. Friday, the 28th, in fact. Five blog posts later and a dinner date with the man who went through it all with me, changed me and changed this entire story for me. With all of this writing, all of this remembering, all of this digging deep inside and all of this emotion, I'm finally ready to let it go. I gave it (the accident) credit where credit was due. Yes, it was a horrific thing to happen to a child and yes, it changed me physically but it made me a better person. I can finally say, for real this time around, I'm done. Finished. I'm so over it. It's so not a big deal anymore. You just don't know the feeling of release I've had in the last few days. Like I said, I never expected this. Honestly, when I started making the hero gift for Jim, I thought, "I should totally blog about him cause he's a cool guy. I bet not many people can say they have a real life hero, plus my gift is going to be really legit, I kinda wanna show it off." BOOM. That decision right there, changed my life, y'all. So here's your grand finale people: This is THE last time I'll let what happened to me as a child rule my life. I'm moving on with the all the blessings God has given me, this one included. I've said it before, I sincerely thank everyone who has taken the time to read these posts. It's clearly changed me. I pray that my story reaches and helps someone who might be going through something similar. Feel free to share it with anyone and everyone. Here's to the next 19 years, deuces.