I re-claiming my marriage, one night at a time. Remember this post? I was more than thrilled that weekend when Charles and I got to sleep in separate beds. It was a dream come true. I was 8 months pregnant and sleeping was clearly far more important than anything else that anniversary weekend.
I'm not proud to admit, we have been sleeping in separate beds since that weekend. Kaleb is over a year old. I know, this is way sad. Before you get all judgmental on me, in my defense, I'm a SUPER light sleeper and he is a SUPER loud snorer. Not only does he snore, he talks in his sleep. It drives me bananas. (The only way it is possible for me to sleep through the night is if I use ear plugs or, of course, drink heavily.)
After Kaleb was born, it was just easier for me to sleep in the spare bedroom, that way I was closer to his bedroom and I could hear him cry. Plus we didn't have to wake daddy. It just worked. Yes, we still had a sex life, for those wondering.
Last week, I decided it was time to move back in with my husband. He was baffled. "Why are you moving your pillows and phone charger in here? Why have you decided to sleep with me again?" I didn't really have a reason to give. I just felt like it was time but couldn't put it into words.
That's when he said, "were you feeling disconnected?" LOL! Did he really just use that word?? I laughed and said, "yeah, kinda." He said, "me too." Poor thing.
So here we are, several days later, and I'm falling asleep, to and from work. I'm SO tired and sleepy. How do normal couples sleep in the same bed?!? Not to mention, I'm wearing ear plugs!! This makes me panic because I'm afraid of not hearing Kaleb on the monitor, even though he has been sleeping through the night for months now. What if our fire alarm goes off?? What if the dog starts barking? Ugh, so many reasons it's not a good idea to wear ear plugs in the night. Seriously.
Charles is thrilled beyond words that I have moved back in. I know he feels like I'll be changing my mind real soon, though. Every evening he asks, "are you sleeping with me tonight??" in fear of me saying, no.
I really understand it's important for my marraige for us to share a bedroom. I get it. It's our only time to really bond and connect. Have I mentioned how freakin tired I am though? Waking every hour, worried that Kaleb is crying, or our house is on fire, or worse, the dog is shitting in the corner because I didn't let her out in time.
These are real life dilemmas, people.
I have decided to stick it out. A three year marriage is not long enough to start being in separate bedrooms. My saving grace? It's about to be deer season and that means Charles will be gone to the lease *hopefully* a couple weekends out of the month and I can go back to my own bed.
*Dear Mother-in-law, if you are reading this, please invite your son to the deer lease, momma needs some sleep!*
In the mean time, rest assure, I'm re-connecting with my dis-connected husband.